Spencer Smith, Panic! At The Disco band member, opened up about struggling
with substance addiction.
He recently opened up about his problem in an
interview with MTV that was posted this week.
Also, Spencer will not be participating on the
band´s upcoming arena tour Save Rock and Roll with fellow friends Fall
Out Boy due to his addiction problems.
Vocalist Brendan Urie posted an
open letter on the band's website concerning the topic:
"HI. I’M BRENDON URIE FROM PANIC! AT THE DISCO.
And my band has been through a lot.
And my band has been through a lot.
From graduating high school to almost immediately getting an indie record
deal. To having to become best friends with new acquaintances in the close
quarters of a conversion-van whilst touring the country. To dealing with
animosities inside and outside of the band. To dealing with “creative
differences”. New band members joining. Old members quitting. And now this: one
of my closest friends has been struggling with addiction.
I guess I never thought that last one would ever really be a “thing”. Ever.
I figured if we ever got into drugs or partying that we would phase out just as
quickly. And for a while, we seemed to do just that. Phase in and out of
consciousness without worrying about future consequences; or, “future
tripping”.
But over the course of the last 6 years or so, I’ve learned that not
everybody deals with things the same.
I don’t know why that particular lesson took so long for me to learn. I
mean, I’ve always understood that people are different and you can’t judge
someone you don’t know because you haven’t walked a mile in their shoes and so
forth. But when it happens to someone close to you whom you love and respect…
It’s just a different story altogether.
I first joined this band (then under a different band name) as a
replacement guitar player. Initially, I had no intentions of being a permanent
member. I was just filling a space as a temporary solution to a not-so-serious
problem. But within a couple month’s time, I was a lead singer of a growingly
popular rock band out of Las Vegas. So, things were pretty damn good for a
hyperactive high-school kid with sub-average grades and no plans for college.
My initial impression of Spencer was that of intrigue and curiosity. Most
of the time he was quiet and reserved, but every now and then he would unleash
his wit of which I was an immediate fan. We seemed to share the same brand of
comedy which was a breath of fresh air to me. That initial connection became a
fully-fledged friendship that would become stronger over the course of many
years. And many fights. Many tears and many laughs.
Writing our first album together was so much fun. Even sometimes cutting
class to work more hours for more pay at a smoothie hut just to make ends meet
for gas bills and a rehearsal space couldn’t have been more fun to me. And when
that album became popular, it was so completely surreal. My entire childhood
was spent practicing for and dreaming about entertaining crowds of people. I
lived to perform. To sing. To dance. To play music. And I was finally getting
to fulfill my dream.
And through the years of changing sounds from one album to the next, of
fighting over who should still be the lead singer, of being around people who
were so completely done with being a band, I never gave up. I just showed up.
And hoped that there were people like me who wanted to make a difference.
People who wanted to create something. Because they needed to. Because if they
didn’t, it would drive them insane. And luckily, I found people like that.
I guess what I’m saying is that Spencer and I have been through a lot of
hurdles together, but witnessing one of my closest friends immersed in such a
battle has been the most difficult. There was never anything I could say to
comfort him or empathize with his situation. What the fuck could I possibly say
to him to make him feel like everything was gonna be okay? So I told myself
that all I could do was work even harder with whatever I was doing to make sure
he didn’t have to stress about anything. So I did.
And I wrote as sincerely and honestly as I could for this album. I didn’t
want to hold anything back. No one was telling me what I could and couldn’t
say. This was my diary and the pages were filled with confessions. About
everything. About my story. What I had gone through and what I was going
through. I kept writing and never really stopped.
So, here’s another confession for my diary. Only this time there’s no
musical soundscape or background in which I can flood the message. All I can do
is say it. So here it is.
Today is August 6th 2013, and it’s become evident Spencer still needs more
time to take care of himself. I can’t expect him to be fighting addiction one
minute and be fully immersed in a national tour the next.
With all that said, the tour will continue without Spencer while he is away
getting the help he needs. Thank you all for your support and kind words.
I love you. I believe in you. Just show up and don’t ever give up.
Brendan Urie"
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